Monday, September 27, 2010

My perfume...? hum... axe?

Alright bros, today is basic theory on how not to scare people away! Smell.

Thats right smell is really important yet alot of guys just ignore this for god knows what reason. You see, when something smells good you are attracted by it. A cake, pizza, a cute girl that smells like flowers. You get what I mean. So here are quick tips for your smell.

1. Use soap EVERYDAY in the shower. It's important to use soap everyday to keep your hygiene to at least a tolerable level. If you want to be a bro, the LEAST you could do is wash your goddamn god-sent body. If you're a fat slob. Wash it anyway.

2. Deodorant. You know that putrid stink when theres a crowd? Yeah, make sure it doesn't come from you.

3. Perfume. You may be laughing right now with your can of axe. But that shit is entry level. Don't go on a date with a pretty lady with axe on, she'll be insulted. So if you have no idea what to put on, go to your nearest drugstore, sears, walmart or just your village mall. And check for perfume, they'll be giving you sample for you to try it on.

Now, if you have no idea what smells good or smells like old men, bring a friend with you, a girl. That will give you an excuse to leave the house and get a girl along. Just say something along: I got to buy perfume but I got the cold so I can't really smell, mind helping a buddy out ;). Then your sidekick will tell you what smells good. Now the buying part. If you buy it retail a small bottle may cost up to 80 bucks easily. Buy it online. You'll save at least 50 bucks. Thank me later :)

To be a good bro, you gotta smell nice!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

She cheated me?

For those of you who are with girls, you might encounter a situation where the girl does some stupid shit and you feel like crap afterward but can't call on her bullshit since it's not technically "cheating" but when you do it she gets mad as hell. You know what I'm talking about, talking to your ex, dancing with a stranger, flirting... basically the stuff that are borderline or leads to cheating. You see women will do shit because they "feel" it's right, while us men do shit because we know it's right. It might seem like a very small difference but trust me, that difference will be the main cause of relationship troubles. So when you learn your girl did something she "felt" right. Heres what  you dont do:
 You see, at first you pull the "Oh my gawd no" face, which she now knows she hurt you but you quickly pull out your face number 2, so before she even feels any long term guilt you forgive her because you're afraid of losing her. If you do that, you just gave her a free season pass of cheat-o-rama. So now you're probably asking: wat do? I'll tell you right now, you take the very guilt she throws at you and you throw her back in her face. Like this:

The most important thing about this, is to keep your coolface (and we all know what a coolface is) on and then you tell her that it's so meaningless you don't even know why she even told you. Now I know you're going to tell me "But she's going to do it again!". Not so fast bro, if you do it before her and then brag about it, she'll feel like shit and after that you'll be able to say: you're right it's no big deal *coolface*. She'll feel like shit, you will repeat this every week until she learned her lesson. She cheated you? You'll cheat her. Fuck her. The moral of this is don't let her boss you. If she does something you don't like. Keep it cool, and shove it on her face in a passive-agressive way. And if you're tired of her bullshit, just dump her. It's much less painful than if she dumps you.

ps: Bonus tip, if she's about to dump you and you know it, interrupt her by saying you've had enough of her bullshit and dump her for some stupid reason she did months ago. That way you get to be the victim of enduring her!

 Remember, bros are ALWAYS wearing the pants.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The way you walk

If you want to have the look of a bro you gotta learn how to walk like a bro.

First thing you need to stop looking at the ground! Otherwise you look like a sad snail, and guess what. It's not fun to hang out with sad snail, so if you want to be attractive to make friend or go flirting STOP LOOKING AT THE DAMN GROUND. Heres a picture I drew for you guys showing what you must not look like.

Now that you guys see what you must not do, I'll tell you exactly what you must do, you must have your head always above 90 degrees, never directly look down, if you need help just role play that you're a snobby english cheerleader, that should help your stance. Next your shoulder, make sure you are straight up, not only will this make you look more confident but it's also very healthy to stand like this, I know it feels really weird at first but I also drew a picture of how you're gonna look like if you listen to me. 

Help yourself and walk like a bro!

She's interested?

For alot of men, understanding girl is the biggest puzzle they'll ever have to solve. In fact for most of us at one time it was. Luckily for me I was able to crack it, however not all men are as lucky as me and are often confused around girls.

So heres a small list on what to watch for when you are in a conversation with her:

1. Her smile, if you encounter a girl and start small talk and she's smiling, well she's interested in what you have to say. Basicly she opens her door to be accessible.

2. Her hair, if she fixes her hair when you are talking to her it is a sign of interest into you, do not take this as foolproof but it is a sign that she's getting attracted to you my friend.

3. After like 5 minutes of talking you can start "touching" her, like a pat on the shoulder and after jokingly saying "You would never do that huh? :P" Basicly see it that way, if she rejects a simple pat, how the hell will you be able to hug her, kiss her and get in bed with her?

So thats pretty much 3 simple trick that you should lookout for, if you ever need more answer just put a comment and I'll edit my post :) Thats it for now

Tips for bros!

This small blog will mostly be a FAQ on what to do in real life situations that might be confusing for some people. Lets say: how to ask a girl out, how to react to a bro when he does stupid shit. Basicly a small guide on everydays life! I will browse the wonders of the internet and post questions I find while lurking and giving my glorious answer